Everyone, I’m sorry. I’m not at all in a mood to write anything good. Today I want to take some moment with myself. Actually writing blogs, thinking wonderful thoughts, new words, happy moments of travel and trekking, remembering difficulties of life, writing words of appreciation, all are also a part of me. But my mind is kind of fucked up, actually so damn fucked up right now. If I was a daily vlogger than you would see the anger, frustration towards self, and lots of angry words. I’m sorry, after almost a year, I am having this fucked up mood swing, from calm to fucked up.
Last time when I went through such shitty feelings was exactly a year before. I used to live alone in rent at Baneshwor, Kathmandu. I have many precious memories in that small room on the ground floor in the corner. Those were the days when my voice as I used to sing in a mellow voice used to bounce back from the wall of my room and give me company.
We say life is a lesson learned from our mistakes, right? It’s actually true but learning lesson and finding a hard time to overcome the sorrow faced from the pain is so difficult. Today I feel so relieved that I have overcome such phases of my life. Living ten months at Baneshwor reminds me of my past and many other things do. Yet, I feel no regrets neither I blame anyone for what is actually my fault. I am so much convinced with thoughts that these sorrow causing me weak passes with time. But there are few things, which I cannot express either I can share it with those whom I should. That causes my brain overloaded. And that’s the moment when I go through such thoughtless troubled prick.
This will not end if I will keep on writing. And I don’t really think anyone should know this side of me. More on that, writing like this, writing about disturbing thoughts will not spread a positive vibes. So I am very sorry for that today. I am so pissed of with myself.
Yes, there are few confessions to make with everyone who know me. Because I find my image reflected as a guy who is happy, doing well sound with all situations, funny one. But it is not like that. Life is not normal as everyone dreams of. There are my down parts, my mistakes and my reasons for being behind in many aspects of life. Maybe someday my mind might think, its time to share it among everyone. They should know what are my real stories than always reading my thoughts in the form of blogs. If such feelings will come, with enough courage and a good time than, I will also share it with you
That’s all from a troubled guy. Readers, please take this blog as a troubled mind writing in absence of happiness who wrote a lame article which neither started well with a good title nor has any good content inside.